That's an interesting thought about suburbia and childlessness. I wonder if the privacy and control that the suburbs offer are more appealing when you have children to care for? I'm looking forward to that one.
Been a subscriber for a few years and have found it to be worth every penny! I’d love if you visited St. Louis and wrote it up. It’s been in the news a lot for typical post-industrial struggles, but I think it has a lot to offer and have seen some hopeful signs. It also has a great food scene. I feel like it’s a city that could really see a resurgence if it really embraced urbanism.
I'm a collector of Lost Places, especially places that I explored at one time. Some turn out to have a dramatic history, and some aren't lost after all. One recent example:
> So conceptually, at least, it seems to me that the spirit of suburbia cuts against the spirit of the family, because suburbia is about privacy and control and individualism, and both the city and the family are not.
That's interesting. As a city-dweller with kids it resonates with me, but I'm also a weirdo outlier culturally, living in a small house in a major city with a large family. People are always surprised that I haven't moved out to the burbs.
But I think "individualism and control" are good insights.
It seems like a lot of people have decided not to have children because it would constrain their freedom of action. I think, in reality, sharing your life with children opens up much more new life experience than it limits -- and the limits are only temporary -- but this doesn't seem to be common knowledge.
The other angle of "individualism and control" is that I think many parents are living vicariously though their children. They're deeply invested in their child becoming a prodigy, or at least "highly successful," and so parenting becomes more like being a full-time personal trainer for a client who may not even want to go along with the plan. Over-parenting is exhausting.
As it relates to the suburbs, it seems like a lot of people feel it's very important to create the "ideal" home environment for their family and children, which starts with each child having their own bedroom, but also things like an art room or music room, etc. Add a home office and a guest room as requirements, and suddenly a family "needs" 3,000 square feet. That's not cheap *anywhere*, least of all near a city center. But there seems to be a lot of anxiety that if one *doesn't* create that ideal home environment their life just won't be "good," and I think that in a time of expensive and scarce housing this is contributing to falling birth rates as people decide they just "don't have what it takes" to raise a family.
This all feels tragic to me. I think the joy of raising kids is comes largely from them being their own person from day one. Parents get to influence and help them, but for the most part we're just along for the ride. And it's a great ride! It's exciting to watch children learn and grow and become who they are going to be. I wish I knew how to help people feel less pressure and anxiety around these things.
"Another theme I’m sure I’ll be coming back to is the intersection of urbanism and the family, and the question of whether cities are family-friendly. I have this hypothesis that suburbia and childlessness are actually sort of different forms of the same thing" Please come back to this soon. I'm incredibly interested in your thoughts. I've had similar but would like someone else to bounce ideas off of.
I think it would be very worthwhile to read your articles in the coming year, when I read what your plans are for the coming year.We hope to continue to be amazed... Happy New Year from the Netherlands/Amersfoort, Arjan
Speaking of enlightening road trips, my husband and I took a road trip through the Carolinas away from Route 95. in 2015. (We were driving to Florida and had taken a side trip to visit a special burger place that our son had recommended, which turned out to be closed.). All the small towns we went through were closing up. Empty stores, sad streets, uninhabited workplaces. At the time, it helped me to understand Trump’s appeal. Things change, and yet they stay the same.
Not sure the town-by-town maps still work but you can see screenshots of the results. As someone from the border areas in the survey (Summit), I've always been fascinated by this debate and my perception of place in the Garden State. I'm sure there's something interesting to say about how we and others define ourselves based on where we think we sit in the world (or New Jersey!).
One of the most historic roads in the United States is old route 40. It started out as Braddock's Road, hacked out of the wilderness by British General George Braddock on his way to Pittsburgh in the French and Indian War. Later, it became the first road on which federal money was spent and so got the title the National Road. One of the big issues that separated the Whigs and the Jacksonian Democrats was the issue of spending federal money on infrastructure. The Democrats were against it.
At some point, it was a toll road, and I remember seeing an old toll house. At that time the road had a gravel covering and you paid by the width of your carriage wheels. Narrow wheels rutted the road, and wide wheels helped flatten the ruts. I remember that there was no charge if your wheel was 12 inches wide.
I also remember spending the night in a late 19th century hotel along the route.
Old route 40 has long since been bypassed by a newer route 40, and that has been bypassed by I 70. You'd have to look for business 40 signs. Another good way to look for the old route is by Old USGS Topo maps. The following link will give you a map in southwestern PA. If you click on the 1900 Topo, you will see that present route 40 is identified as the National Road.
There should be more layers of history along this road than you can write about in 6 months. And none of it has been civilized and prettied up as an at Williamsburg or Dearborn Village.
That's an interesting thought about suburbia and childlessness. I wonder if the privacy and control that the suburbs offer are more appealing when you have children to care for? I'm looking forward to that one.
Been a subscriber for a few years and have found it to be worth every penny! I’d love if you visited St. Louis and wrote it up. It’s been in the news a lot for typical post-industrial struggles, but I think it has a lot to offer and have seen some hopeful signs. It also has a great food scene. I feel like it’s a city that could really see a resurgence if it really embraced urbanism.
I'm a collector of Lost Places, especially places that I explored at one time. Some turn out to have a dramatic history, and some aren't lost after all. One recent example:
https://polistrasmill.com/2024/10/27/eureka-lake/
Some long-lost companies also turn out to be still running under a different identity. Example:
http://polistrasmill.com/2023/03/02/12230/
Cool, I will check these out!
> So conceptually, at least, it seems to me that the spirit of suburbia cuts against the spirit of the family, because suburbia is about privacy and control and individualism, and both the city and the family are not.
That's interesting. As a city-dweller with kids it resonates with me, but I'm also a weirdo outlier culturally, living in a small house in a major city with a large family. People are always surprised that I haven't moved out to the burbs.
But I think "individualism and control" are good insights.
It seems like a lot of people have decided not to have children because it would constrain their freedom of action. I think, in reality, sharing your life with children opens up much more new life experience than it limits -- and the limits are only temporary -- but this doesn't seem to be common knowledge.
The other angle of "individualism and control" is that I think many parents are living vicariously though their children. They're deeply invested in their child becoming a prodigy, or at least "highly successful," and so parenting becomes more like being a full-time personal trainer for a client who may not even want to go along with the plan. Over-parenting is exhausting.
As it relates to the suburbs, it seems like a lot of people feel it's very important to create the "ideal" home environment for their family and children, which starts with each child having their own bedroom, but also things like an art room or music room, etc. Add a home office and a guest room as requirements, and suddenly a family "needs" 3,000 square feet. That's not cheap *anywhere*, least of all near a city center. But there seems to be a lot of anxiety that if one *doesn't* create that ideal home environment their life just won't be "good," and I think that in a time of expensive and scarce housing this is contributing to falling birth rates as people decide they just "don't have what it takes" to raise a family.
This all feels tragic to me. I think the joy of raising kids is comes largely from them being their own person from day one. Parents get to influence and help them, but for the most part we're just along for the ride. And it's a great ride! It's exciting to watch children learn and grow and become who they are going to be. I wish I knew how to help people feel less pressure and anxiety around these things.
One needs at least 1,000 square feet dedicated for the library regardless
"Another theme I’m sure I’ll be coming back to is the intersection of urbanism and the family, and the question of whether cities are family-friendly. I have this hypothesis that suburbia and childlessness are actually sort of different forms of the same thing" Please come back to this soon. I'm incredibly interested in your thoughts. I've had similar but would like someone else to bounce ideas off of.
I think it would be very worthwhile to read your articles in the coming year, when I read what your plans are for the coming year.We hope to continue to be amazed... Happy New Year from the Netherlands/Amersfoort, Arjan
Speaking of enlightening road trips, my husband and I took a road trip through the Carolinas away from Route 95. in 2015. (We were driving to Florida and had taken a side trip to visit a special burger place that our son had recommended, which turned out to be closed.). All the small towns we went through were closing up. Empty stores, sad streets, uninhabited workplaces. At the time, it helped me to understand Trump’s appeal. Things change, and yet they stay the same.
Long-time reader, first-time commenter from a fellow Central Jerseyan transplanted to NOVA!
Two ideas for 2025, one NOVA-focused and one Jersey-focused:
1. Curious to get your take on the recent collapse of the giant downtown Herndon Comstock development and what it means for other town-center-type "urban" developments in the region -- https://www.ffxnow.com/2024/12/10/breaking-comstock-drops-plan-to-redevelop-downtown-herndon/.
Does Herndon have another chance to "get it right" with a large developer or is a piecemeal approach right here?
2. I'm sure you've participated in many North-Central-South Jersey debates in your time. The Star Ledger did a large reader poll back in 2015 to try to settle the boundaries: https://www.nj.com/news/2015/04/mapping_njs_unofficial_north_central_and_south_jer.html.
Not sure the town-by-town maps still work but you can see screenshots of the results. As someone from the border areas in the survey (Summit), I've always been fascinated by this debate and my perception of place in the Garden State. I'm sure there's something interesting to say about how we and others define ourselves based on where we think we sit in the world (or New Jersey!).
Have a great New Year!
One of the most historic roads in the United States is old route 40. It started out as Braddock's Road, hacked out of the wilderness by British General George Braddock on his way to Pittsburgh in the French and Indian War. Later, it became the first road on which federal money was spent and so got the title the National Road. One of the big issues that separated the Whigs and the Jacksonian Democrats was the issue of spending federal money on infrastructure. The Democrats were against it.
At some point, it was a toll road, and I remember seeing an old toll house. At that time the road had a gravel covering and you paid by the width of your carriage wheels. Narrow wheels rutted the road, and wide wheels helped flatten the ruts. I remember that there was no charge if your wheel was 12 inches wide.
I also remember spending the night in a late 19th century hotel along the route.
Old route 40 has long since been bypassed by a newer route 40, and that has been bypassed by I 70. You'd have to look for business 40 signs. Another good way to look for the old route is by Old USGS Topo maps. The following link will give you a map in southwestern PA. If you click on the 1900 Topo, you will see that present route 40 is identified as the National Road.
https://ngmdb.usgs.gov/topoview/viewer/#11/39.8194/-79.6167
There should be more layers of history along this road than you can write about in 6 months. And none of it has been civilized and prettied up as an at Williamsburg or Dearborn Village.