The Opposite of Home Improvement

Cheap tastes, or simple and functional tastes?

In looking at houses, I’ve noticed a funny thing: I like cheap finishes and materials. Not cheap as in contractor-grade junk, but cheap as in less expensive types of materials. For example, linoleum (well, technically, vinyl sheet flooring) over tile.

I certainly appreciate fancy food—in fact, I very much appreciate very nice food—so it isn’t like I’m a cheapskate. I actually like the cheaper, out-of-style materials in homes. I find them functional in a way that the premium stuff is not.

For example, most of the more expensive appliances have fancy control panels, internet connectivity, and all sorts of different modes and options. I don’t like them very much. When the panels fail, they can’t really be fixed; the whole panel has to be replaced. I don’t need to be able to ask a voice assistant on my fridge if I have eggs or not. Or have a screen in my fridge door that looks like a giant iPhone. A classic dial is simple, inexpensive, and intuitive. A classic box fridge is fine. Give me the cheapest finish. And don’t even start with the “why not upgrade all your perfectly working appliances so they can be stainless?”

I’ve also discovered I don’t like marble, granite, quartz, or whatever else stone countertops are made of. Our condo has Formica counters (with a marble-looking laminate.) The stuff is pretty heatproof and extremely sturdy. But there’s something else I appreciate about it, which I never really thought about until I saw stone countertops.

The Formica has some give to it: a slight tremble or bounciness. You can drop a bowl or tip over a glass on it, and both the countertop and the bowl or glass will be just fine. Marble or granite? The glass or bowl will crack, and the countertop might get a scratch or chip too. The stuff is certainly durable, overall, but it’s so hard that it renders all your stuff more fragile, and takes away some ease of use in the kitchen. It’s a very subtle thing that makes ordinary tasks just a little harder. Add kids and pets? It gets worse. It’s almost like there’s an anti-convenience built into all this premium stuff.

And floors? Same deal. Tile will either shatter, or shatter your stuff. Linoleum (sheet vinyl these days), with the floorboard right underneath, has the same give as Formica and may save your bowl or plate if you drop it. Sure, flipper gray “luxury vinyl plank” is similar, but it’s more expensive, harder to install, and harder to pull out too. And isn’t it kind of absurd that “luxury” is included in the actual name of the product category? I’m not making that up. It’s actually abbreviated LVP.

I was reading about linoleum on Wikipedia, and I saw this. So it’s a known feature, but almost never mentioned. I wonder why?

Most people associate linoleum with its common twentieth century use on kitchen floors. Its water resistance enabled easy maintenance of sanitary conditions and its resilience made standing easier and reduced breakage of dropped china.

(By the way, as noted above, what we still call “linoleum” is almost always sheet vinyl these days. But true linoleum is a natural product made of solidified linseed oil mixed with wood or cork shavings on some kind of backing, like canvas. I didn’t know that!)

But anyway. Some realtors tell you that to be “move-in ready,” you need not just fresh paint but new flooring. Yet for me, it’s almost to the point that when I see a listing that says “All-new flooring, appliances, countertops, recently remodeled bathrooms!” I go, oh no. They probably took out decent, functional, simple stuff, better made and more durable, and replaced it with trendy junk. A recent remodel is basically a point against a house for me.

I like this:

Am I in a small minority here? I’ll take a 10-year-old appliance over a new one. I’ll take Formica over granite. I certainly won’t pay a premium for appliances and materials that are harder to care for and harder to use. (I’m even the guy who tried every other option than replacing my 20-year-old washing machine.)

I’m curious what folks think of the current crop of styles and materials in home furnishing. Leave a comment!

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Related Reading:

New Construction Blues

Nooks and Crannies

A Great Everyday Neighborhood

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