That car seat thing is real. I live in a small town, built mostly in the 18th and 19th centuries, and the only way I survived having three kids in 4-1/2 years was that I could walk to most of the places we needed to go. Walking a half mile to the shop was easy - toddler in the stroller, preschooler walking, baby in the sling or backpack. Errands like that were a fun family activity; I got something accomplished, we’d get some fresh air and exercise; maybe stop at the park afterwards. But wrangling the three of them into the car was a different story; and then once we got to the destination, convincing some of them to get out of the car was almost as much work. And then we’d buy our stuff and everyone would cry because Target is very overstimulating; and then I’d have to wrestle crying, screaming children back into car seats - I do not know how people who live in unwalkable suburbs survive. My kids are grown now, but I still prefer to walk to do my errands locally. It seems so much less tiring than getting in and out of the car, even though it’s just me at this point.
Walking with a toddler might be easier than driving, if you have a stroller. I had the opposite experience with public transportation. Taking the bus, train, or tram was harder than driving- the kid wants to get up and walk around, poke the people in the next seat, and generally do toddler things that they can’t do in the carseat straitjacket.
I would think so. That’s one of the reasons we moved from our city apartment to a house in a small (but walkable) town when I was pregnant - I figured dealing with a stroller and uncooperative child on the T would be unpleasant. Plus, I had a premonition that my kids would be colicky fussy babies (and two of them were) and I imagined my grad-student neighbors in our poorly soundproofed three-decker building would not appreciate the constant screaming for hours every evening.
I have a small kid - he LOVES trains and buildings and construction...and also cars and trucks. And bicycles. He went through a phase where he hated being in the car. He now seems to be ok with it - altho wrangling him into a car seat (he's nearly 3 now, and very distractable and opinionated) is definitely not good for my back. Bus/train rides can sometimes be better - he's usually a bit nervous of all the strangers. But sometimes it's also a pain - he's easily entertained and keeping him from being a nuisance to other passengers is a task.
There're advantages to both having a yard and a quiet street, and to having a neighborhood where your kid can walk to their friends' or the park or their swim class. They both add different stresses to your life. I don't chagrin any parent for preferring one to the other - but I do get annoyed when they say "the only way to raise a big family is with a GMC Yukon living in the burbs." That's clearly not the case.
We live in an old, inner ring suburb, and I'm constantly self-debating whether "urbanism" or an exurb is the ideal place to raise a kid. Cars pose some real hazards on kids, and that in turn leads to kids being more supervised and chauffeured, which is not easy on parents. On the flip side, at his current age I think he's too young to have his run of any neighborhood, and so having a small yard we can let him be in unsupervised seems beneficial. Traveling by car vs walking/taking the train sees the difficulties in wrangling a child into a car seat vs the difficulties of keeping a child moving forward with purpose and/or not being a public nuisance. Costco is not a great place to take a kid for an errand, running small daily errands at smaller local grocers is preferable. But at any age, in any neighborhood, especially for kids who think they're invincible - walking poses a major hazard, and that hazard is cars.
In conclusion - I'd prefer to let my kid walk to where he needs to go and have his independence as he gets older. The biggest thing that will give me pause is that there is no place where cars are not a MAJOR hazard. And in that world, the suburban patterm is explicable, if depressing. Better? No. Worse? Also no.
"I'd prefer to let my kid walk to where he needs to go and have his independence as he gets older. The biggest thing that will give me pause is that there is no place where cars are not a MAJOR hazard. And in that world, the suburban pattern is explicable, if depressing. Better? No. Worse? Also no."
Yeah. This is a really key insight - cars degrade cities in a particularly acute way.
That being said - we should allow more housing everywhere - especially in inner ring suburbs and in cities where jobs are centered. And in all those places we should make it safe, affordable, and easier for EVERYONE to live - families, young people in school, young people just out of school, old people - EVERYONE should have a place to live in our cities. If people prefer the suburbs when they have families, they can move there. If they, like me, would prefer to raise more independent kids, they should have that opportunity too.
The original tweet is silly. No, kids don't like buses. (*Nobody* likes buses, which combine the worst features of cars with the worst features of subways - nobody who has a choice not to take a bus has ever taken a bus.) Maybe kids like bridges and tunnels - mostly because they've been across them in cars. The Hot Wheels corporation, anyone who has ever plopped their kid in front of a steering wheel and let them go vroom-vroom, and any kid playing a racing video game all rebut the notion that kids don't like cars. It's parents, not kids, who suffer the car-seat frustrations, and that's not a feature of cars, it's a feature of government regulations about cars. Likewise, day-long car trips bore kids because they're away from their toys and iToys, not because they object to automobile transport. Show me the little kid who enjoys six hours in a middle seat on a plane in coach. I also invite everyone to ask their little kid how they'd like to get home from school tomorrow, the bus or having mommy pick them up.
Other things little kids like include:
- backyards
- gardens
- soccer fields
- trucks
- Army figures, which I wouldn't say makes them "natural warmongers"
- McDonald's, which I wouldn't say makes them "natural junk-food eaters" (okay, maybe it does)
- YouTube videos of disembodied hands unboxing toys
That car seat thing is real. I live in a small town, built mostly in the 18th and 19th centuries, and the only way I survived having three kids in 4-1/2 years was that I could walk to most of the places we needed to go. Walking a half mile to the shop was easy - toddler in the stroller, preschooler walking, baby in the sling or backpack. Errands like that were a fun family activity; I got something accomplished, we’d get some fresh air and exercise; maybe stop at the park afterwards. But wrangling the three of them into the car was a different story; and then once we got to the destination, convincing some of them to get out of the car was almost as much work. And then we’d buy our stuff and everyone would cry because Target is very overstimulating; and then I’d have to wrestle crying, screaming children back into car seats - I do not know how people who live in unwalkable suburbs survive. My kids are grown now, but I still prefer to walk to do my errands locally. It seems so much less tiring than getting in and out of the car, even though it’s just me at this point.
Yeah, I've seen a number of comments along these lines. Thank you!
Walking with a toddler might be easier than driving, if you have a stroller. I had the opposite experience with public transportation. Taking the bus, train, or tram was harder than driving- the kid wants to get up and walk around, poke the people in the next seat, and generally do toddler things that they can’t do in the carseat straitjacket.
I would think so. That’s one of the reasons we moved from our city apartment to a house in a small (but walkable) town when I was pregnant - I figured dealing with a stroller and uncooperative child on the T would be unpleasant. Plus, I had a premonition that my kids would be colicky fussy babies (and two of them were) and I imagined my grad-student neighbors in our poorly soundproofed three-decker building would not appreciate the constant screaming for hours every evening.
I have a small kid - he LOVES trains and buildings and construction...and also cars and trucks. And bicycles. He went through a phase where he hated being in the car. He now seems to be ok with it - altho wrangling him into a car seat (he's nearly 3 now, and very distractable and opinionated) is definitely not good for my back. Bus/train rides can sometimes be better - he's usually a bit nervous of all the strangers. But sometimes it's also a pain - he's easily entertained and keeping him from being a nuisance to other passengers is a task.
There're advantages to both having a yard and a quiet street, and to having a neighborhood where your kid can walk to their friends' or the park or their swim class. They both add different stresses to your life. I don't chagrin any parent for preferring one to the other - but I do get annoyed when they say "the only way to raise a big family is with a GMC Yukon living in the burbs." That's clearly not the case.
We live in an old, inner ring suburb, and I'm constantly self-debating whether "urbanism" or an exurb is the ideal place to raise a kid. Cars pose some real hazards on kids, and that in turn leads to kids being more supervised and chauffeured, which is not easy on parents. On the flip side, at his current age I think he's too young to have his run of any neighborhood, and so having a small yard we can let him be in unsupervised seems beneficial. Traveling by car vs walking/taking the train sees the difficulties in wrangling a child into a car seat vs the difficulties of keeping a child moving forward with purpose and/or not being a public nuisance. Costco is not a great place to take a kid for an errand, running small daily errands at smaller local grocers is preferable. But at any age, in any neighborhood, especially for kids who think they're invincible - walking poses a major hazard, and that hazard is cars.
In conclusion - I'd prefer to let my kid walk to where he needs to go and have his independence as he gets older. The biggest thing that will give me pause is that there is no place where cars are not a MAJOR hazard. And in that world, the suburban patterm is explicable, if depressing. Better? No. Worse? Also no.
"I'd prefer to let my kid walk to where he needs to go and have his independence as he gets older. The biggest thing that will give me pause is that there is no place where cars are not a MAJOR hazard. And in that world, the suburban pattern is explicable, if depressing. Better? No. Worse? Also no."
Yeah. This is a really key insight - cars degrade cities in a particularly acute way.
That being said - we should allow more housing everywhere - especially in inner ring suburbs and in cities where jobs are centered. And in all those places we should make it safe, affordable, and easier for EVERYONE to live - families, young people in school, young people just out of school, old people - EVERYONE should have a place to live in our cities. If people prefer the suburbs when they have families, they can move there. If they, like me, would prefer to raise more independent kids, they should have that opportunity too.
The original tweet is silly. No, kids don't like buses. (*Nobody* likes buses, which combine the worst features of cars with the worst features of subways - nobody who has a choice not to take a bus has ever taken a bus.) Maybe kids like bridges and tunnels - mostly because they've been across them in cars. The Hot Wheels corporation, anyone who has ever plopped their kid in front of a steering wheel and let them go vroom-vroom, and any kid playing a racing video game all rebut the notion that kids don't like cars. It's parents, not kids, who suffer the car-seat frustrations, and that's not a feature of cars, it's a feature of government regulations about cars. Likewise, day-long car trips bore kids because they're away from their toys and iToys, not because they object to automobile transport. Show me the little kid who enjoys six hours in a middle seat on a plane in coach. I also invite everyone to ask their little kid how they'd like to get home from school tomorrow, the bus or having mommy pick them up.
Other things little kids like include:
- backyards
- gardens
- soccer fields
- trucks
- Army figures, which I wouldn't say makes them "natural warmongers"
- McDonald's, which I wouldn't say makes them "natural junk-food eaters" (okay, maybe it does)
- YouTube videos of disembodied hands unboxing toys