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Lisa's avatar

You wanted feedback, so here goes the contrarian view.

I guess I have to question your assumptions. I don’t think that clubs, meet ups, and social activities are particularly dependent on density, unless you get to fairly isolated areas. Going by the difference between my experience and my husband’s (he was born and raised in NYC), I think you actually have more social interactions in smaller places where you see the same people over and over.

I actually talk to the grocery clerk, the delivery guy (who turns out to be a relative of a friend), the postal worker, the woman who does my hair, the guy who does my yard, and so on. Many of them know each other. You have more of a social fabric and more feeling of community. You go to the farmer’s market or one of the many festivals, and you see people you know. Ditto the grocery store, the post office, or the vet.

For the history - people moving from the country were extremely well represented in postwar suburbs. Between 1940 to 1970, the percentage of people living in the country in the US dropped from 43% to 26%. My guess is that most of those people moved to the suburbs.

That’s certainly the pattern that I saw with my dad and some of my uncles, who were WW II veterans. After the war, they went to college, some stayed, and some moved their families to the outskirts of cities. None moved to a city center. Fully 17% of the country moved from rural areas to MSAs during that time. I would really question your assumption that early suburbanites were primarily originally urban. That was not my experience at all, going by the parents of my friends growing up in the 60s and 70s.

The suburban community socialization patterns that I saw were similar to the same habits I see now out in the far exurbs. There was then more of an emphasis on going to church and church activities as a cornerstone of social life and public service. Many people were active in organizations and clubs, whether it was Elks, Moose, or Garden Club. (Today it’s library board or writer’s group or organizing community events.)

Many people bonded over hobbies like fishing, boating, hunting, horseback riding, tennis, gardening, or golf. Many people met each other through their kids and their kids’ activities. They still do.

None of that is at all urban specific.

I am familiar with how my own ancestors lived pre-1945, and it was not dense. It was primarily rural, with small town centers that had stores, with houses on larger lots around it, surrounded by farms of varying sizes. People first came in to town by horse, and then later by car.

As far as today, I don’t feel more impatient in an automobile. If I am in a car, I am going somewhere, and cars are an efficient and comfortable way to get many tasks done. If I want to stroll, I stroll. I generally do not want to stroll carrying a thirty pound bag of dog food. Different circumstances.

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Elizabeth Oliver's avatar

There is also a change in the way society is organized. Growing up in suburbia in the 50’s, we kids were always in and out of each other’s houses and backyards, and there was always a parent (read Mom) wherever we went.

And now? There is likely not an adult at all and if there is that person is probably working from home and not able to fit in the care and feeding of whatever neighbourhood kids have shown up on the day.

So kids are more apt to stay in their own houses and their social connections are almost exclusively through school and organized activities rather than neighbourhood proximity.

Why is this important? Because it was through the kids that the adults formed their own neighbourhood social connections.

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